As always, we invite you to join the conversation... do you believe in regret or is everything in life just a lesson learned? And if you're feeling brave, you may even want to share your own story about regret. That's what the comment section is there for! What do you think of today's anonymous confessions of regret?
DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS?
"I have a few. I know it's not very P.C. to say that you have regrets. You're supposed to say that you don't have regrets and that it makes you the person you are today and blah blah blah, but I do. I don't know that I could have done anything under the circumstances, but I do wish that I had done something different.
My biggest regret is, the week before my brother died, I was sitting on the couch watching the Sopranos and I knew that he was high and I didn't say anything. And so I've always wondered if I had said something, if I maybe got him into rehab a week earlier, would things have been different."
THAT'S A BIG WEIGHT TO HAVE ON YOUR SHOULDERS.
"It has been. But since he's been gone that's been a weight that I've carried. He didn't die of an overdose, he died of a heart condition related to the drugs, so a week....? His heart was already damaged. Intellectually I know that a week probably would not have mattered."
"The other regret I have is not leaving my husband sooner. In that situation, I don't know that I could have. I didn't really have any other options. I don't know that it's a regret so much as I just kind of wish things had been different. I wish I would've left years and years and years ago, but years and years and years ago, I was a stay at home mom so it wasn't really an option."
HOW DO YOU THINK THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF YOU HAD LEFT SOONER?
"I think the kids wouldn't have suffered as much. They've seen and heard a lot that they shouldn't have and I fault him 100% for that, absolutely, completely. I wish that they didn't and there's nothing I can do about that. But I think that it would have made it a little easier on them to not hear or see those things. Plus I'd be that much further along in my life. But again, it's one of those things I don't really know that I had any other alternative. I chose the path that I had to."
THERE'S FEW CHOICES WHEN YOU HAVE SMALL KIDS AT HOME WITH DAYCARE COSTS TAKING MOST OF A PAYCHECK.
"Right. And my mom was gone by that point."
IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE EITHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS, BUT IT CHANGED EVERYTHING ELSE TOO, WOULD YOU?
"I don't know that I would with my brother 'cause I don't know that it would've changed much. I don't know that it would've prolonged his life by any significant amount. I think though, that if I could go back in time, I would've left my husband much sooner. Before it actually got really ugly. If I knew then, what I know now, absolutely I would go back and I would change it. I would've left him and it would've been hard, I would've struggled and the kids would've been young but I would've done it."
DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU LEARNED SOMETHING FROM EITHER OF THOSE SITUATIONS?
"With my marriage, I'm still learning. When my brother died, I lost myself for a bit and I think you and Mary Kay (Cosmetics...she became a consultant and was a high achiever) helped me to find myself again and then with the marriage, it happened all over again. He beat me down emotionally, so much, for so long that I am still recovering from that. I'm trying to learn my self worth and that I really shouldn't have tolerated that behavior from anyone. I absolutely won't now. I'm kind of getting to the point, and it hasn't been that long, but I really am kind of okay with being alone for the rest of my life if that's what it means. Because there's certain things that I'm absolutely, positively not gonna put up with. There's definitely things that are triggers. I curse like a sailor and I know that, but if a guy curses on a date with me, that's a red flag. If it's in anger, if I sense even the tiniest bit of anger, then I'm out. And I think I would've accepted that before like, "oh, that's just how it is", and that's (now) not anything that I wanna be a part of."
YOU CAN TELL YOU'RE MORE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN NOW.
"I definitely am, and I wasn't for a really long time and I was always on edge with everything. Everything made me uncomfortable and unhappy and I just didn't enjoy it. I think I'm less willing to apologize for myself at this point. So I guess there's good to come from it."