As always, we invite you to join the conversation... do you believe in regret or is everything in life just a lesson learned? And if you're feeling brave, you may even want to share your own story about regret. That's what the comment section is there for! What do you think of today's anonymous confessions of regret?
"As with many people, I have had a few, obviously some are bigger than others. I’d say my biggest was trying crack cocaine. I was already going down a bad road, doing coke, and was hanging with someone that would get the coke for me. Getting powder was getting to be difficult to do, so she had bought crack rather than powder. I remember being hesitant but intrigued. She put it into the pipe, had me sit in a chair, then lit it up for me as I inhaled it. I’d still say today, even after having done it too many times after then, that that was the best high I had ever felt with it. I chased that feeling for a long, long time.
That led to me at first spending money on it as I had it, then spending money on it that I didn’t have to spend, then taking out cash advances on a credit card, then taking a loan from my 401K to not only pay back the credit card debt, but also to have money to blow on more. It had gotten out of control then.
The crossroads of having to deal with it came from when I was taking money out of the joint account I had with my partner, sitting in a hotel, having the dealer bring more after each call, all the while my partner watching the money disappear from the account not knowing where I was. It was an ugly night.
I sought help after that, worked to deal with “why” I was doing that to myself. As for anything else I’d share on this, I found myself doing things I never imagined doing. I would be in dangerous places with dangerous people, spent money in ways I never imagined spending, and did things to make more money or to just get more drugs that I never thought I’d do. It is a powerful thing being addicted and can’t be taken lightly. But I did learn that you can change yourself over and over again in life. That is worth learning about yourself."
SO DO YOU THINK SOMETHING POSITIVE CAME FROM IT?
"I do. I think a few things actually. I feel like I have a much better understanding of overcoming addiction (I still can, in my head, try to justify doing it over 5 years later) for one, but most importantly, I feel that it led me to dealing with some deep rooted issues I had that I was trying to mask for years. Digging in and dealing with the pain, the shame, the mixture of feelings and understanding what I was running from, that has led to a much better me I feel."
IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE IT, BUT RISK CHANGING THE WHOLE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE SO FAR, WOULD YOU?
"That is a tough one. Money comes and goes, so I can’t stress over that anymore, but I do wish I hadn’t done all of that deception and hurt to my partner, family, and friends. On the other hand, the perspective that going down that rabbit hole has given me on life has, in my opinion, changed me for the better. I feel like I can really see people, no matter where they are in their life, for who they are and who they can be. Many of the people I met while I was doing that are not people I’d hang with or normally want to know. But as you get to know them, get to know their story, you learn that you can’t make assumptions about anyone."