Telling stories about love is not simply the same as telling love stories. Love comes in many forms. It's the earliest emotion we feel, the one that moves us the most, for better or for worse. This week, as we always do, we’re talking to people. And the tie that binds all of this week’s people is their hearts. Everyone has a story of the heart. It’s the most common of threads in the enormous tapestry of life. Sometimes our hearts tell a happy story, sometimes it’s a sad tale. Sometimes our stories involve putting our pieces back together and moving on.
Each day… a different person… a different story…. a different reason… a different heart. One love.
"October 17, 2014."
HOW LONG WERE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND TOGETHER PRIOR TO YOUR WEDDING?
"This Valentines Day, funny enough, is our "legit" 10 year anniversary. So at the time of our getting married, we had been together over 9 years."
SO YOU STARTED DATING ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
"That was the date he realized we were together."
HE DIDN'T REALIZE IT BEFORE THEN (laughter)?
"He realized it because I was so irritated that we weren't spending Valentine's Day together, and that he had to make it up to me. He was, at that time, in the restaurant industry and he brought me dessert that night and then he said "Wow! When did we go from being just friends to being married?" And that was how he realized that we were together."
HAD YOU BEEN DATING PRIOR TO THAT?
"We were seeing each other a little bit off and on. But that January we were getting more on the serious side of seeing each other. Then on Valentine's Day I was like "What do you mean you have to work the whole night?! That's like one of the biggest nights of the year!" I was really bummed and he felt really bad about it and realized this was really legit."
HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?
"In eighth grade I was dating his best friend, who was actually one of his groomsman (it was eighth grade so it was like puppy love). We met cause a bunch of friends went bowling and he was there. The guy I was dating was kind of rude to me that night, and later, my husband emailed me and said, "I'm really sorry (my friend) was so rude to you last night. He's my best friend but I feel really bad he was treating you that way." I was like "Who is this kid?!" We were in eighth grade! So then we started being friends. Then we actually dated for a very brief time in ninth grade, for like 3 months. I never stopped having feelings for him and then we got back together in senior year."
WHY DID YOU STOP DATING IN NINTH GRADE?
"I think it was too serious for how young we were."
WHAT BROUGHT YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN?
"Me. I was like "I love this kid! I'm getting back together with him." I really sought after him. The year before, at junior prom, I really wanted to go with him and he had this thing with this girl we went to high school with. He really wanted to go with her and wound up going with her. But he ended up spending the whole prom with me. The next year is when we really started dating."
WHAT MADE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM?
"I don't know. He was just so different. He's so honest and genuine and he's a really caring person and he's not afraid to show it. There was just that feeling. You just can't shake it."
WHAT DO YOU THIINK MAKES YOU COMPATIBLE?
"We're definitely like yin and yang. That's a good thing for us. We just honestly balance each other out. Where he is very much safety and security, very crosses his T's and dots his I's, so methodical and analytical, I'm more impulsive and a risk taker. I'm a super passionate person and he's very thought out. I think the fact that we're so different. It is awesome because we balance each other out. Where he falls short, I make up and where I fall short, he goes above and beyond."
"This one night we went camping. It was our first actual, little vacation. We went to the beach and it was pouring rain. Our tent started to leak and we just laughed the whole night. It was so funny. We cuddled to stay warm and laughed. I always think about that because it was our first time together. It was just the two of us and everything was going wrong but we had so much fun just being together."
SOME COUPLES ARE VERY SPECIFIC, METHODICAL IN PLANNING THEIR FUTURE. HAVE YOU BOTH SAT DOWN AND MAPPED OUT WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR FUTURE?
"No. We do have a little family right now. We have our dog and our cat and consider that our family. Just recently we started talking about what we want in a year from now. Making progress towards that. Not necessarily saying we'd be buying a house in one year. Like what do we want to make happen this year so we can make awesome things happen in 2016. So in 2016, we do wanna start the possibility of purchasing a home. To be candid, I do not have the itch to have children. Neither does he. So either it happens, the itch starts to happen that "Boom! We're gonna have a kid". We'll raise that (issue) more when I'm like 32. I'm 28 now. That's kind of where I see our future in terms of kids. We're not the "let's have a bazillion kids" kind of people. But we do have a list of places that we do want to travel over the next couple of years, just the two of us, 'cause that's important. So, yeah, we do wanna buy a house and we wanna travel a ton. We'll probably have a family in the future but that's not something that we're itching to do now.
I hope that the "itch" (for a child) does happen for me at some point because it kind of scares me that I might not ever get the itch. I know that that happens to some people. They just never feel the need to have a kid. I hope that I do, cause I know that I probably do want to have a child one day. I don't want the itch right now, but in a couple years, sure I hope that does happen 'cause otherwise I'll stay in indecision and question whether or not I wanna have one."
SOCIETY PUTS SUCH A PRESSURE ON WHAT PEOPLE ARE "SUPPOSED" TO DO NEXT. ONE WAY IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY. I ALWAYS HATED THAT PRESSURE.
"I do too. People I went to high school with: they went to high school, they got a degree from college, get out of college, get married pretty much within 2 years and then, some people I went to high school with (we're coming up on our ten year reunion) are on their second kid, third kid. One girls on her fourth kid. That is so beyond me. I don't even understand that at all. I mean more power to them for wanting that right out of school. For me, we both have never been like that."
YOU SAID IT WOULD SCARE YOU NOT TO GET THAT ITCH. WHY WOULD THAT SCARE YOU?
"I either want to know for sure that I want something or know for sure that I don't want something. So to not know really what I want for my future in terms of something that impacts another human being, bringing another human being into this world, and not know for sure freaks me out. To be like "Oh yeah. Let's just see if it happens". There's people that do that and I commend that. I'm an impulsive person but when it comes to another human being, I'm not. So I wanna know for sure either way. Otherwise I'm freaked out."
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT TO A GOOD MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?
"Trust, honesty. Trust for sure. I think loyalty is also important. Because he is my number one and I'm super, super close with my family, especially my sisters. It was definitely a pivotal point, when I went from being more loyal to my family and my sisters and that kind of thing to "He is my number one and if that's not gonna gel..." I mean it was always fine, it was never something that was ever an issue but there was definitely that pivotal point where he became my most important person above everyone else. So that loyalty is super important."